About Me

HOW TO READ “SUSPENDERS GIRL” When you come to an arrow, click on it! The music is meant to be played in the background to help bring the stories to life. I hope you like them. S.G.

(CLICK ON THE ARROW BELOW TO LISTEN)

Honky Cat – Elton John

Hi! My name is Lis, but you can call me Suspenders Girl. A lot of people do.

I live in the Shenandoah Valley on the outskirts of Staunton, Virginia. People say “Virginia is for lovers” which is lucky for me because I love a lot of things!

Here is some of what I love.

I love being a girl in the 70’s!

I love where I live and everywhere around it. Our family farms and Downtown Staunton and the Staunton Plaza and the Blue Ridge Mountains and Gypsy Hill Park and Skatetown and my friends houses.

I love music! Almost more than anything. Music is one of my favorite things in the whole world. I listen to all different kinds. Some of my favorites are Earth, Wind & Fire, Elton John, and Paul McCartney & Wings.

My mom has a lot of 45’s and albums and Jamie (my older brother) and I have some, too. We listen to records pretty much every day. I’m great at listening to music but awful at playing it. I take piano lessons but I’m terrible because I never practice and I hate recitals. They make me wanna throw up like that girl in that scary movie, “The Exorcist”. (I’m not gonna show you a picture of her because I don’t want you to have to sleep with a night light on for the rest of your life.)

If you think this is creepy wait until you see the girl that I am not going to show you because it will make you have bad dreams or not be able to sleep at all.

I’ve even pretended to be sick so I could get out of doing them. That didn’t go as planned because I’m such a good actress (which is why I wanna be one when I grow up) I fooled my parents into being so worried about me they took me to the doctor. I almost had to get a shot but then I pretended to get well and was able to talk my way out of it. I learned my lesson about that! The next time I want to get out of a recital I’ll hide… But not under the ping pong table. That’s a terrible place to hide.

Honky Cat

I love my mom and my dad and Jamie. And my whole family. (I have a bunch of aunts and uncles and cousins, plus Nana and Grandma and Grandpa.) And my friends, including Mike. (He’s our neighbor from across the road. He and Jamie and I are together all the time. He’s a year younger than me and like our kid brother.) And I love some of my teachers but not the ones who put me in the corner even though Jesus says I havfta love everybody. That’s hard to do! Oh, and I love Jesus.

Not that I always do the right thing. I misbehave enough to have to sit in the corner pretty often. Kids are supposed to misbehave so grown-ups can have the chance to teach us right from wrong. It makes them feel useful.

I love animals. Especially dogs and horses. I have a dog named Tidbit and we have four horses (Beauty, Tony, Fanny & Princess). We have a couple of cats, too, Dum Dum and Spotty. (I know that sounds mean but it’s not Dumb Dumb, like stupid. It’s Dum Dum, like the lollipop. Spotty is actually a cat with stripes, so I guess that makes me a Dumb Dumb because I’m the one who named him.)

Not A Honky Cat

I love watching television, especially Saturday morning cartoons. And shows with cute guys. I also want to be an actress when I grow up so I can be on a show with Lee Majors (The Six Million Dollar Man) or Shaun Cassidy (Joe Hardy from The Hardy Boys). Or better yet, BOTH!!! (I love them, too, but in a different way than my family, friends and teachers… I would be okay with kissing either of them if we had to do a love scene. Know what I mean?)

(Click the arrow like I told you before. You should always do that.)

The Six Million Dollar Man Theme – The Spelding’s Jazz Orchestra

I think Lee Majors is worth WAY more than Six Million Dollars!

I love to play outside with Jamie and Mike. Hide N Seek is my favorite. Tag is my second favorite. The best is when we play both at the same time. We play Hide N Seek with a base so when somebody gets found they try to run to the base before whoever is “it” touches them. Base is usually a tree, not the kind of base like in baseball. I like to play baseball, too, especially “pickle”. I like to eat pickles, but I don’t love them. I like with eat them with burgers sometimes.

This is an example of me misbehaving. I could have used a picture of a sliced pickle instead.

More examples of me misbehaving.

I love burgers. Especially Superburgers from Wright’s Dairy Rite. And pizza. Especially pizza from Pizza Hut (that’s the only place to get pizza as far as I know). And Old El Paso taco kit tacos. (I don’t think any other kind has been invented.) I love peanut butter and banana sandwiches that my dad makes and blackberry cobbler that my mom makes (from the fresh blackberries we pick off the bushes at the farms).

Sorry. I got off the subject. “Pickle” is a game where somebody is in the middle and two people throw a baseball or a softball back and forth and try to tag the person out before they get to base. A baseball base. Not a tree. I hope that didn’t confuse you, but if it did, it’s no big deal. I get confused all the time.

A softball doesn’t feel so soft if it hits you in the face while you’re playing pickle.

I love to tell stories about what happens to me and people I know. When I try to tell stories at school I get in trouble for talking and have to sit in the corner or write about why I shouldn’t talk during class. I like to write, but for fun, not when a teacher’s using it to punish me. It’s too bad we don’t get a grade for talking. I’d definitely get an A+.

Okay, I talk a lot – a lot – and it gets me in trouble, especially when I get confused or misunderstand something, or when I’m trying to tell one of my friends a story while Mrs. Cain is teaching math. Her name suits her. Not like Candy Cane, but like, hit you with a cane if you talk too much. I bet she would if she could, but she can’t hit kids with a cane or she’d get in trouble. Thank God she can’t hit us. But she can sit us in the corner. And she does. Maybe she should change her name to Mrs. Corner. Maybe I’ll call her “Mrs. Corner” some time and see how she likes it… On second thought, she probably wouldn’t like that at all, and she’d make me sit in the corner for it, so Mrs. Cain it is.

All canes are not created equal.

I don’t care anymore if I can’t tell my stories in her class because now I can tell them to you, which works out great for me! My stories might seem “far out” but they are 100% true (mostly). Some are funny, a few are scary, and they all have a happy ending. I hope you like them.